Managing Anger
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If it wasn’t so shocking, it would be funny the way life can laugh at you and make you eat your own words. Recently I wrote a blog post about an event that happened eight years ago. This event trigger much pain and suffering for me via anger, until I was ready to release it.
Well wouldn’t you know that the very next day after I posted that story, the opportunity to wrestle with anger came a knocking at my door, as if to say, you bragged about getting over intense anger, let’s see if you can do it again... and again. As fate would have it, something happened which triggered my anger and let me tell you, I was so angry I was literally trembling inside and shaking outside.
The first thing I did (which I don’t necessarily recommend) was, I began communicating honestly and openly via email to the person that I felt was the source of my anger. At the time there was no other option for communications. I did manage to keep my communications on point and respectful. For that I am grateful, as years of experience has taught me, that is the best way to have others hear you, remain respectful. When said person finally responded and offered to explain via email I asked them not to. I realized no-thing they could say would soothe me. Facts about the matter were irrelevant to me at that point.
I paced backed and forth in my home talking out loud to myself about the issue. I was fuming. Again, the self-righteousness reared its ugly head. Now let me be clear in saying that I don’t believe that people shouldn’t get angry. Anger is natural for the un-evolved (which most of us are). It’s what you do with that anger that matters most. It’s so easy to point fingers, blame others and to lose our self-control. But the true source of any emotion comes from within and from within is where you have to work on it.
I was grateful for the fact that I had a number of tools in my tool-box, to help me over this bridge of craziness back to sanity. I called one of my dear Sister friends who is a great listener, wise in the ways of people and the world and a healer in her own right. She’s not going to just take my side on the matter, she sides with the truth. Her listening, understanding and words of wisdom did help, but still I was not at complete peace.
And then I remembered the Oracles. For me doing a reading (via the I-Ching) and listening externally and internally to what is being said via the oracles ALWAYS impacts me on a deep level and readjusts my perspective and calms me down, like magic. It never ceases to amaze me how this happens. It is said that when you approach the oracles from a place of sincerity, what is shared will be clear. Because believe me, the oracles can be ambiguous.
In this case, the oracles spoke clearly to me, directly without any guess work. I didn’t have to call my counselor-priestess for further, clearer insight. It was plain as day and spoke directly to my situation. There were many lines of blatant truth. One line that quickly helped me to adjust my attitude read, “We soon learn through our studies of the I-Ching that it is incorrect to try to produce results through conflict, and that anger, while often justified, blocks the correct solution, and that there is a Cosmic law against being vindictive.” This line is from the 61st hexagram, called “Inner Truth” from “A Guild To The I-Ching” by Carol Anthony.
Another line that spoke to me in a plain and clear way stated, “No matter how independent we feel, we must not forget to rescue those for whom we are responsible. Although rescuing them means that we let them go their own way, we continue to hold an open mind and sacrifice any temptation to execute them mentally as hopeless.” This is from the 42nd hexagram called “Increase.” The bolded words hit me in my heart. Let people be, let them make their own mistakes. You cannot control others, you can only control yourself is what this line said to me.
By all means both of these hexagrams are considered ‘positive.’ They were both reassuring and felt like the words of compassion from a great and auspicious ‘Sage.’ They soothed me immediately and I watched as the anger went up in smoke. After that I was able to take a bath with some herbal oil and let it all go. I released the anger and the anger released me. Finally, I was at peace.
Days later I did admit to myself and this other person that my feelings about the situation and my position on the matter had not changed one iota; but I wasn’t going to allow anger to dictate my behavior.
So there you have it. I know that you may not consult oracles or may have never heard of the I-Ching. But there may be something in your life that has this kind of soothing impact on you. Maybe it’s reading the bible, Koran, prayer, other sacred text or listening to sacred music or talking to that one person that understands, exercise or meditation. Whatever tools you have, be sure to use them sooner than later.
And as you can see, and as it was made clear for me to see, the work continues. We will always have instances that challenge our peace which lead to work for insight, growth and change. Our skill set of getting on top of our negative emotions should become easier with each passing instance (because it all passes). At least, that is my goal to have wellness in every aspect of my life. Aum Shanti (Peace). If we are to have peace in the world, peace begins with us.
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