The sap rises with spring, and that isn’t just the sap of trees.  Our vital energy also rises with spring.  Considering that March is Women’s History Month, I thought I would summon the courage to have this conversation with you, my sisters and brothers.  It is believed that typically, only single women are not having sex, but there are many married women or women with partners who are also not having sex right now for any number of reasons.  No matter a woman’s age or relationship status, sexual health is part of her overall health.  The same is true of men.  A person with a sexually-related illness is a person whose overall health is being compromised.  And yes, there are healthy and pleasureable practices that women and men need to attend if they do not have regular sexual encounters.

The sap has risen and is being released from this tree.

Many of us already know about famed gynecologist Dr. Arnold Kegel and the exercises he developed to strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor and combat incontinence.  These exercises’ positive side effect is that they also help keep the vaginal area moist and elastic and greatly increase the strength, power, and pleasure of orgasms.  Enough said!!  If you’re wondering where to go to sign up, you can sign up right in your own bed.  Dr. Kegel also has a program for men at this link. There’s much more about men’s sexual health further down. Men, please keep reading.

Also worth noting is that some women believe that because they’ve reached a certain age or because they don’t have a life partner, they can pretend they no longer have a sexual organ or that they have no sexual needs and desires.  They literally push down and ignore any thoughts about this part of their being.  However, whether or not you have a partner, you should consider focusing on this aspect of your body’s needs for your overall life enjoyment and vitality. This kind of attention to one’s vital needs is a part of self-care, self-love, healing, and self-knowledge. For classes, tools, and toys, check out Babeland: Sex toys for a passionate world

There are many books on this topic; my highest recommendation is to acquire and read a copy of What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, a comprehensive look at you and your sexuality, by the famed gynecologist, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, a sister who practices in New York City. Chapter 13 is entitled, “Sexercise: Working Out to Increase Your Sexuality,” and in it, Dr. Hutcherson recommends a number of Kegel exercises and pelvic floor strengtheners.  Not only will these exercises increase your sexual vitality, using them on a daily basis will prevent you from ever needing to wear an adult diaper.  And if you’re already wearing one, begin doing these exercises so you can have the choice of controlling your urine flow and leaving adult diapers in your past. Some may have noticed that Yoni eggs are all the rage across the internet for exercising vaginal muscles (Yoni, an East Indian word, is another term for vagina).  According to Health Magazine, there is evidence to show that yoni eggs could be very detrimental to your vaginal health.

My favorite among these exercises tools recommended by Dr. Hutcherson is the Gyneflex, which uses an instrument similar to a kitchen tong.  I appreciate that this device comes in two different strengths and allows you to really feel the weakness or strength of your vaginal muscles.  You get to see whether you can close the Gyneflex tong a quarter of the way, half-way, or all the way?  When you can close the softer one all the way, then you are able to graduate to the firmer model.  Both strengths come in one package when you place your order.

There is nothing like regular aerobic exercise to raise your chi/qi/vitality. In addition to aerobics, there’s a yoga exercise that I highly recommend for strengthening your vitality (body strength, life force, sexual energy) is called half-bridge.  It is based on your ability to lift your hips off the floor and hold this position for up to 60 seconds or more.  As such, it is a powerful exercise.  You may need to start low to the ground, and you may only be able to hold this pose for a few seconds at first.  But the longer you practice, the higher off the floor you can elevate your hips, and the longer you will be able to hold this pose and super-charge your chi/qi/inner strength and power.  This yoga pose also strengthens the ankles, legs, thighs, buttocks, and lower back. No matter how long you live, lifting your own buttocks is a powerful tool to have in your tools-of-life kit.

I could only find images of women in a “normal” horse stance. All the images of men in horse stance were in a very deep squat used by martial artists.

For men, I recommend the bridge pose along with the horse stance aka horse-riding stance, to gain strength, stamina, and inner power. Did you know that horses are the only mammals that will lay down only to give birth or if they are dying; otherwise, they are always standing, all day and all through the night. This is why the horse represents virility, strength, and power (horsepower). The longer one can maintain the pose, the more one’s strength increases.  The practices of Tai Chi and Qigong are accessible ways to build on the horse stance practice.  Another alternative, that might be easier is to practice rounds of squats: start where you are and build up to 100-200 squats a day.

To avoid injury, go slow, and build up from where you are,  little by little.  There are many Chinese tonics on the market for men’s sexual health and vitality that are easy to find and are fairly inexpensive. One of the most popular of these strengthening herbs for men is ginseng. There are several types of ginseng; find out more info here.  It may be best to consult with a Traditional Chinese Doctor to get an assessment of which herbs are best for you. Herbs come in different forms. The dried herbs and have to be boiled, and they don’t sell wonderful, but this is the most effective of the options. The other options are capsules with crushed herbs or tablets.  Liquid tonics are also available. Best of all, there are typically no side-effects in Traditional Chinese Medicine.  This medical practice has been around for centuries; it approaches healing from a natural and holistic perspective.  There’s a good reason why it is still around and thriving.

With all that goes on in life that is not wonderful or pretty, I hope that every woman and every person can experience great health and pleasure; the two go hand-in-hand.  These are among the greatest gifts given to us by the Creator.  It is up to us, though, to keep this healthy state going, keep ourselves strong, and realize the importance of self-pleasure if it is our only option for the time being or for as long as we decide it will be.

You may not have any problems getting in the mood, but if you need some stimulation or encouragement, set up the mood. The first step for setting the mood is to use your power of visualization. Imagine whatever would truly turn you on, and consider these basic tips to engage all your senses.

  • Burn fabulous smelling resins/incense
  • Have a candle-light bath
  • Your favorite music should be playing while you’re taking your bath
  • After bathing lovingly rub your body down the way you would want your lover to do so, using a beautifully scented body oil
  • Have a glass of wine or sparkling cider
  • Watch a sexy movie
  • Eat chocolate
  • Last, but not least, open yourself up to having a wonderful experience

If there is anyone you know who could benefit from the information in this blog post, please feel free to share it with them. I would love to hear your feedback, so please leave comments below. If you’ve made it this far, you deserve to hear Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. In-joy!